Dwight Howard 101: Whose Body Is That In the No. 12 Lakers Jersey?

DwightHowardContractFor Laker fans, who can’t imagine what to make of Dwight Howard, here’s a crash course:

Dwight 101.

Lesson No. 1–He’s not the Dwight of Orlando, physically.

Not that it’s easy to tell. If a lot of people say he’s not, it’s close enough for former Clipper and Laker coach Mike Dunleavy to say he thinks Dwight looks pretty much the same.

I wasn’t sure one way or the other until Monday’s game against Denver’s Javale McGee, who made him look like he was Aaron Gray while dropping out of the sky like some giant flying predator on any Laker who got close to the hoop.

That’s what Dwight looked like – before last summer’s back surgery.

Actually, Dwight was scarier. Built, as he is, like a 6’10” Arnold Schwarzenegger, compared to the actual Arnold who’s… (supposedly) 5’10”, and makes JaVale look like Twiggy.

For Laker fans used to this tippy-toe version of Dwight—which is still good enough to lead the league in rebounds and rank No. five in blocks—check out this 3:49 mix tape of Howard in Orlando, suggesting pointedly how different that Dwight is from this Dwight.

0:55—Howard spins around McGee in the post, turning him into a pillar of salt, which is what used to happen when they played.

1:57—-Dwight blocks Andrew Bynum’s shot, with his hand even with the top of the white square behind the cylinder.

2:07—-Dwight swoops down from the free throw line to devour Luol Deng’s layup.

2:50—-Dwight goes over the back of DeAndre Jordan, who has jumped too early, blowing him out of the way and throwing it down two-handed.

Luckily, DeAndre doesn’t see what hit him or he might still be traumatized.

3:22—-Dwight hesitates in the air before dunking over 7-0 Omer Asik, in what used to be a signature move.

3:27—Dwight comes from the other side of the lane, vaulting into the stratosphere to eat up another of Deng’s layups.

Actually, you have to give Deng credit for having the courage to take him on twice in the same career.

Lesson No. 2—For a nice, fun-loving, talented, approachable guy, Dwight is no public relations genius.

Before approaching free agency, he was one of the NBA’s most lovable stars, donning Superman’s cape and coming out of his phone booth in the dunk contest, flashing the readiest smile since Magic Johnson.

Then he became a free agent and it all went to hell.

The way to do it was the way Kobe Bryant did it in the spring of 2004 – refuse to discuss it period.

Instead, Dwight, who likes being liked, or, actually, adores being adored, announced he “hoped” to stay in Orlando—even though he didn’t, figuring he could say things just didn’t work out, as everyone else always had.

By spring, he’d been beaten up in the press so badly, he disregarded the advice of his agent, Dan Fegan, promised to stay—and signed away his opt-out clause.

It only took a few weeks for him to decide he really wanted to go to Brooklyn after all. Since he was no longer a free agent, the Magic and Nets had to agree on a deal, which didn’t happen.

Fegan finally got Dwight, who had decided he didn’t want to follow in arch-rival Shaquille O’Neal’s footsteps, and go rebound for Bryant, to accept a trade to the Lakers.

Apparently deciding talking too much had gotten him in trouble, Dwight has since refused even to say he hopes to stay, which, of course, went over with the Lakers like a Led Zeppelin.

Last week Howard threw out his first hint he’s leaning toward staying, saying he and Kobe “have years” to learn to work together, as if assuming he’ll be here.

No, I wouldn’t exactly call that a commitment, either.

Next Page: High-maintenance Dwight & More Dwight Lessons

Lesson No. 3—Dwight is high-maintenance, or beyond mere maintenance, requiring utter worship.

This isn’t that rare among superstars—although it’s harder to tolerate from the second-best player on a team, or anyone else who doesn’t guarantee your team goes deep in the playoffs annually.

Whatever Howard did in Orlando was treated as no big deal.

Did he send people running every which way, publicly second-guess coach Stan Van Gundy after Game 5 of the 2009 Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, after falling behind the Celtics, 3-2?

Unfortunately, the Magic had blown a 10-point lead in the last 5:39 of Game 5, while Howard went scoreless, and he couldn’t help but announcing, “When you have a dominant player, let him be dominant.”

Amazingly enough—or not, because everyone knew it was just Dwight being Dwight—Orlando came back and won Games 6 and 7.

The Lakers, of course, are more serious, so if Dwight lazes about, and then gets on one of them, even someone as nice and as soft-spoken as Steve Nash could go off on him in their Feb. 10 loss at Miami.

Lesson No. 4-Dwight was a rare combination, a major effort guy in games, but only marginally coachable otherwise.

The Lakers were flabbergasted to learn the great and mighty Dwight couldn’t run pick-and-rolls with the game’s best shooting point guard, Steve Nash.

As opposed to understanding fundamentals, Howard only knows how to run things as he did in Orlando.

On pick-and-rolls, he’s used “slipping” the screen–leaving just before the ball handler arrives to post up deep, with the opposing center unable to put his body on him.

Nash is used to getting a real screen so he can turn the corner, giving the defense the choice between letting him shoot (no good) or hitting Howard going to the hoop (no good, in theory).

Interestingly, Howard sets better screens for Kobe, either out of respect, or fear.

Lesson No. 4—Dwight’s demoralized.

I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t believe he doesn’t care, even if that’s what it looks like.

In Orlando, he was a tireless worker, which, with his physical gifts, made him a force of nature.

Here, he’s not as awesome, or as tireless, as in this priceless play posted by Lakers Nation after the game, summing up his Laker career to date in one play.

Lesson No. 5—All that being the case, it’s obvious what the Lakers should do…

Drop back 15 yards and punt.

Not really, but this is as thorny as decisions get and all that’s riding on it is the Lakers’ future.

It’s obvious what the Lakes are going to do, play the season out, then try to sign Howard long-term.

I understand their position, based on the first principle of the NBA, as laid out by GM Mitch Kupchak: “It’s hard to get talent in this league.”

They’re right, at least as far as not trading him at the deadline.

After the season, if he says he doesn’t want to stay, he’ll commit himself to forgoing the extra year only they can give him, worth $30 million. Then they can trade him for, say, Josh Smith and Jeff Teague—which one GM told me the Hawks would give them.

I know I just wrote they should have traded him at the deadline. I didn’t think it through. They got that part right.

However, the Lakers also look like they intend to sign him, no matter what.

Personally, if he doesn’t show more than he has and things don’t improve with his teammates—notably Bryant—I’d hate to bet my entire future on him if there was any kind of alternative… like a Kobe-Pau-JSmoove-Teague nucleus that could play Mike D’Antoni’s offense.

What if he’s never Dwight of Orlando, physically?

What if he’s healthy but can’t adjust to adjust to this offense, as he has yet to this season?

What if he’s the Dwight of old but what if they continue to struggle next season and, now that he continues to alienate teammates—notably Bryant, whose contract runs out next season?

I don’t think it would be the way Kobe, who arrived in an ongoing snit with Shaq, dreamed his farewell would be, departing in an ongoing snit with Dwight.

Buckle your seatbelts, Laker fans. One way or another, you’re in for a long, wild ride.

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