For the Lakers, the Sky is Most Definitely Not Falling

DJ Byrnes
6 Min Read

I know, I know. “Phil Jackson’s championship teams have never lost four in a row.” So clearly, we’re doomed.

But I’m going to go ahead and let you guys in on a little secret—the Los Angeles Lakers could lose the next 10 games and they’re still going to win the title. The only way they won’t win the title is if Kobe Bryant somehow loses a leg. And even then, Garry Vitti might be able to come up with some crafty hustle to get him back onto the court.

Who is seriously going to challenge the Lakers in the course of a four game series? Boston? As if Shaq–who these days, is simply the old sweaty guy at the rec embarrassing himself in some futile attempt to prove to himself he can still run with the young dogs—is going to be a difference maker come July? Trust me: The Boston Celtics want no part of the Los Angeles Lakers come June. I know they’d say differently and their moronic fans will be like “WE ADDED SHAQ AND THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS JERMAINE O’NEAL—WE CAN PROTECT AND REBOUND”—please, Boston. In their heart of hearts, in the darkest alleyways of their tiny little minds, the Boston Celtics and their fans know–they have no shot in July.

Tell me this: name the hole the Lakers have? What weapon don’t they possess? Other than the white 12th guy who’s only in the league to “stretch the floor” on last minute possessions? The only thing they lack right now? An inside banger to counter somebody like Dwight Howard or Shaq.

And—what’s that? We have a 23(!) year-old, 7 footer coming off injury? And he’s pretty good? Well, you don’t say.

Next: Time to Relax and Prepare for June

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