Like It or Not, the Lakers Wagon Is Hitched to Ron Artest

Two summers ago, Mitch Kupchak had a decision: Trevor Ariza or Ron Artest. Both could bring what the Lakers truly needed (tough perimeter defense from the 3 position), but they were different players. Artest was seen as the better overall player, but Ariza seemed to be a young Ron Artest—plus, he came without all the… baggage… that Artest is known to bring with him from locker-room to locker-room.

In the end, the Lakers ended up inking the older Ron Artest for $33 million over five years. It was certainly a risky move, but who was one to trifle with Mitch Kupchak’s decision making? In the end, it proved to be a masterstroke: Ron Artest drove the stake through the Celtics’ black hearts in June to clench his first NBA title. (Give me a moment while I relive the moment. Ah…. that felt good).

Ron’s play was certainly sporadic last year. This year, many people (read: me) predicated Artest would be able to find his niche within the offense. It hasn’t gone as smoothly as predicted, to put it modestly. But, the Lakers put all their chips into Ron Artest’s corner. They’re bound to their horse for the duration of the trip.

The Lakers aren’t getting Melo. I can’t lie: there were about three hours after I heard the news where I did my best Kobe Bryant “WELL SHIP HIS ASS OUT THEN” impression. The more I thought about it, though: the Lakers don’t want Melo. They leaked the talks simply to kick Andrew Bynum in the backside. (And Bynum responded like a professional last night on that hideously patterned floor in Boston).

Next: Lakers Have to Weather the Artest Storm


No, the Lakers have no choice but to ride the volatile Artest. The Lakers might be able to escape the West without him (although I’m sure Kevin Durant envisions a rematch with Artest almost every day he works out). If they do that though, Paul Pierce, LeBron James, or even Loul Deng (whose been playing LIGHTS OUT for the lurking Bulls) will be waiting, licking their chops. Artest killing himself on the defensive end lets Kobe save himself for the bigger moments. It’s best that way for the Lakers at this point.

I know the Lakers tried to fleece the Bobcats again by trying to ship Artest to Charlotte for Gerald Wallace or Stephen Jackson (the fact that the “trade” got beyond a “No” and a “*click*” on Charlotte’s end makes you realize what an inept franchise it is) but… Artest is damn near untradeable.

The Lakers knew when they signed Artest, the last 1-2 years of his contract would probably be brutal (until he becomes Ron Artest’s Expiring Contract), but by then, the Lakers window will more than likely be closed, so that simply leaves the Lakers to worry about the present with Artest.

I love Artest, I really do, so I simply refuse to kill the guy. (Plus, he could rip my esophagus out with his gigantic hands). He has killed the Lakers this year—but he plays hard every night—and I don’t know… he’s just a likeable guy. (I still think he got set-up in the Palace too). If this were Sasha Vujacic we were talking about, I would be calling the guy to be traded to Siberia for a bag of peanuts and some black-market caffeinated FourLokos.

The price of the contraband FourLokos have surged though, due to their increasing scarcity, so I’m not sure the Lakers could even get a case of them for Ron Artest at this point. Nobody is going to simply take this dilemma off the Lakers hands after Chris Wallace resurrected the Lakers dynasty. No GM wants to be the next Chris Wallace.

Next: The Roster is Set for the Next Several Years

No, the Lakers are saddled with Artest. Carmelo’s flashy scoring (which… isn’t what the Lakers need at all, by the way. It’s also pretty much the only thing Carmelo offers on a nightly basis too) isn’t walking through that door.

Back in the 2008-2009 year, you could’ve convinced me that Derek Fisher was dead. He wasn’t shooting well, he played defense as if his shoes were made of concrete… he just wasn’t doing anything at all. It was a hole that I eventually thought was going to sink the ship.

And how did Derek Fisher respond? Only by delivering the *moment* of the Lakers title run: collapsing Luis Scola’s lung with a right shoulder when Scola came to lay a back-pick on him. That was the moment where it was declared: the Lakers weren’t taking anybody else’s crap anymore.

Then in Orlando? All he did was bury the Magic in their own blood in what became “the moment” of that Finals.

Ron Artest clearly isn’t Derek Fisher… but the savvy veterans have a way of laying in the weeds until they’re needed most. As miserable as Artest has been at times this year (and to be fair—the Lakers “struggles” go way beyond Artest’s struggles), the Lakers and their fans can only hope Artest will rise to the moment when it comes.

They may have no other choice.

Follow me on Twitter: @deathTOCLARENCE

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