Standing Up for Kobe: Cooling Off Yahoo’s Over-Heated Miami Fan

So, I’m at work tonight—working hard, obviously. During a moment of respite, I turn on my BlackBerry. I’ve been away from my phone for a few hours, so I need my CrackBerry fix. Naturally, I’m expecting to be flooded with hundreds of missed calls, texts and Tweets from people who wanted to talk to me. Ultimately, I am disappointed. Thankfully I conquered my lack of popularity back in middle school.

There is, however, an e-mail from our fearless editor, Daniel Buerge. “New Article” is the title. I open it up, and basically, it’s a link to a Yahoo! article. He wants a response to it tonight. I click the link to the article. Unfortunately, Verizon has me on that half-G network where I work, so all I could load was the title of the article.

Miami fan: Kobe Bryant is no Dwyane Wade

My first thought? “You’re damn right he’s no Dwyane Wade.” I agree with this guy—why would Daniel need my response to this? I’ll figure it out later, I told myself, and e-mailed him back that I would do this piece for my usual fee: $100,000. He said the check was in the mail and I went back to work.

It wasn’t until I got home, showered, plopped down in front of my CPU and loaded up the article that the nausea truly hit me. I’m talking nausea to the point where you don’t feel like you’re going to puke, but rather, you know that you’re going to puke and you’re resigned to your fate. It’s just a matter of figuring out the quickest route to the nearest toilet.

My nearest toilet? Happened to be my trashcan. And when I say “trashcan”, what I really mean is an empty Penn Station bag. (I’m on that South Beach diet).

Between heaving into the empty bag, I turned to God.

“God,” I said, “WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS?”

Finally, after I had expelled everything I had eaten the previous 15 hours, it hit me: this dude believes in his heart Dwyane Wade is better than Kobe Bryant. (Ugh, I almost puked again just typing it).

….

Next: Is it fair to ridicule a Heat fan? Yes.

[phpbay]Kobe Swingman, 3, “”[/phpbay]

First of all, can I even pick on a Heat fan? Isn’t that like picking on a Bald Eagle? Endangered species are federally protected, no? Oh, Heat fans aren’t on the list yet? Good, good. I feel like I’m slaying a unicorn here at the very least, but whatever.

Walk with me, as we descend into this valley of madness in attempt to bring light to the region which apparently is devoid of actual basketball knowledge.

“In an interview to promote his involvement with the video game NBA 2K11, Michael Jordan ranked Kobe Bryant as a top 10 guard of all time. Many thought this was a defensive and arrogant slight on Kobe, but it’s actually a reasonable assessment. In light of the criticism Jordan has endured recently, and the upcoming Heat-Lakers game tomorrow night on TNT, I’d like to take to take this opportunity to side with MJ, and dethrone Kobe Bryant as the best player in the NBA and a top five player of all time, and suggest that those are distinctions he never deserved.”

See, I agree with Jordan on Kobe Bryant. He is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the Top 10 guards to ever play the game of basketball. What Jordan said was a factual statement, nothing more, nothing less.

Now, if you were going to tell me: Kobe Bryant is the 8th best guard of all time; I’d obviously love to take you up on that opinion.

Personally, I think Kobe Bryant is better than Michael Jordan. I believed that Kobe would be everything Michael Jordan became. MJ was simply the right person at the right time for the league.

I’d also love to see Jordan in today’s NBA, because I promise you—he’d be remembered much differently.

These are arguments for another time; however, what guards are you going to put over Kobe Bean Bryant? I mean, all personal beef aside, who has his repertoire and skill-set? If you’re talking strictly shooting guards—it’s hard for me to think of THREE people I’d POTENTIALLY take over Kobe Bryant.

If you honestly believe Kobe Bryant isn’t a top four shooting guard in NBA history, well, our schools of thought are way too far apart to ever be reconciled.

Next: Kings Have Rings – But That Doesn’t Matter?
[phpbay]Kobe Swingman Jersey, 3, “”[/phpbay]

On Rings:

If you are telling me Kobe is better than Wade for “the rings” cliche, you’d better be ready to say Robert Horry is better than Karl Malone or Charles Barkley for the same reason.

Why do the haters always bring up Robert Horry when you bring up rings? It’s seriously always Robert Horry. “OH, KOBE HAS RINGS? SO USING YOUR LOGIC, ROBERT HORRY IS BETTER THAN KOBE AND JORDAN, RIGHT, RIGHT?”

Charles Joel, the author of this article, it says on his profile that he is an educator. I guess this explains America’s tumble down Marc Stein’s Education Power Rankings.

Let me say this in simple terms: nobody is saying Robert Horry is better than Karl Malone or Charles Barkley. Nobody is saying Adam Morrison is better than LeBron James because he has a ring. (Although, that does make me chuckle). I don’t need rings to see Charles Barkley was better than Robert Horry. That’s not the argument Lakers fans are invoking with the “rings” argument.

However, when you’re discussing elite players—and I’m talking the elite of the elite—then yes, rings come into play. They’re not a trump card by any means—but you’re going to tell me, Kobe Bryant’s five rings mean nothing when comparing his career with Wade’s? The fact that he was the alpha dog on two (and this number will be changing in June) championship squads means nothing? I’m just supposed to ignore Kobe’s fistful of ice? Why?

The Intangibles

I have to admit: since the Jordan tongue, Kobe’s scowl leads the league in symbolism. Unfortunately, this utterly subjective desire hogwash needs to be thrown out of these discussions as well. Simply put, it’s unquantifiable and based wholly on speculation.

I re-read these three sentences and have no idea what in the hell is going on here. What’s being speculated on again? I’m lost.

Why should we assume that one player’s emotional displays (or histrionics) amount to anything more than a personality characteristic? Why does Kobe want it more than Tim Duncan? And further, who wants it more than Kevin Garnett?

Well, we don’t have to assume anything about Kobe Bryant’s drive. His teammates and coaches, from pretty much every single level he’s ever played on have all said: nobody works harder than Kobe Bryant.

You realize, the legendary Jerry West, (another Top 10 Guard, by the way) needed to only watch Kobe Bryant work out for fifteen minutes before deciding: he was the Lakers’ future.

Go pick up Chris Ballard’s book, The Beautiful Game. The first chapter is dedicated to Kobe Bryant and his legendary fire. For any Lakers fan—the chapter alone is worth the price of admission.

Next: The ill-conceived numbers game
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Don’t get it twisted though—it’s not Kobe’s fire that makes him better than Dwyane Wade—it’s the product of that fire. (More on this later).

Desire belongs to a branch of intangibles that act as the spam of otherwise intelligible dialogue. Romantics at heart, we are drawn to these concoctions because they feed our taste for a caramelized reality with fictional elements, the sweet treat of a good story.

Do people live in realities that are caramelized in Miami? Are their realities shipped overseas to be caramelized? I’m broke, so I doubt I could afford it anyway.

So, it’s not rings which make a player great. It’s not the intangibles. So, where is this supposed universe, where Dwyane Wade and his misplaced “y” are indeed better than Kobe Bryant?

Quantifying Greatness:

So how do we determine who’s better? We watch the games. But since we are not all savants that can remember the outcome of every single play during the regular season and playoffs, there are people recording everything that happens and analyzing it.

The science is called statistics.

Let me say just this: I hate statistics in life in general—but especially in basketball. The game of basketball, to me, is simply too deep for statistics. For example, living in Ohio, I get to watch a lot of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Anderson Varajao is one of my favorite players. To watch him play on a night-to-night basis is an absolute pleasure. He can dominate stretches of games in the tiniest of ways. But if you just read the box-score after the game you’d think he played filler minutes. Basketball is like a good story—all the answers are there if you take the time to actually look and think.

People intrinsically fall back on stats to back up their points and ignore the stats which don’t. It’s human nature. I have a feeling that’s what’s coming here.

“Anyone who’s interested in quantifying greatness needs to become familiar with statistics. The Player Efficiency Rating (PER), for instance, does an impressive job at rating a player in one statistic. Career leaders in PER include Jordan, LeBron, Wilt, Wade, Kareem, Magic, K. Malone, Kobe, Bird and Hakeem, names that belong on any all time top 20 list. As explained by PER formulator John Hollinger, the PER ” sums up all a player’s positive accomplishments, subtracts the negative accomplishments, and returns a per-minute rating of a player’s performance.”

So how does Kobe stack up against LeBron or Wade?

Unfavorably.

LeBron tops Kobe (and everyone except for Michael Jordan) 26.77 to 23.54, and Wade isn’t too far behind with 25.59.”

These tactics need to be studied for millennium in law school. Seriously. You see what ol’ Charles did here? He made an argument, then said, “all points that go against me—they don’t count.” Then he said, here’s the solution to our argument, and he brought the one place Dwyane Wade beats Kobe Bryant: John Hollinger’s PER rating.

So, I guess Zydrunas Ilgauskus is the 106th best player in the history of the NBA. Stephon Marbury? Had a better career than Jason Kidd. Jermaine O’Neal was more productive than James Worthy! And Tohmmy Heihnson is better than Gerald Wallace!

This is what PER tells you. And this is the prosecution’s crux of the case against Kobe Bryant? Dwyane Wade is better because John Hollinger (who has picked the Jazz over the Lakers in 6 games over the last six years) created some logarithm, and boom—Dwyane Wade is better than Kobe Bryant. (And I guess David Robinson was better than Shaquille O’Neal).

Let’s just ignore this idiocy for a moment and let Mr. Collins dig his grave a little deeper.

Statistically, Wade dominates.

The discrepancy between Wade and Kobe becomes even greater in the playoffs and the Olympics.

Next: Kobe’s no good in the clutch? Uh, what?
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When it counts.

When it counts? Is Charles unaware Kobe Bryant has hit game winners which clinched divisions, won playoff games and even Finals games? He does realize, whenever anybody polls NBA players, “Who would you want taking the last shot for your team?,” Kobe Bryant always receives more votes than everybody else combined?

In what world has Dwyane Wade out-performed Kobe Bryant in the playoffs? Could you imagine if Kobe had gotten the calls Wade got in the Dallas-Heat Championship against Boston? Good Lord, Kobe would have averaged 50 a game.

Let me know when Dwyane Wade is dropping 48-16’s in a pivotal Game 4 of a conference finals game against one of the best teams to never win a title. Let me know when Dwyane Wade takes over an overtime Finals game on the road with Shaquille O’Neal fouled out (on a bum ankle). Let me know when Dwyane Wade is dropping daggers into the heart of division rival with a crunch time lineup that featured Smush Parker, Sasha Vujacic and Kwame Brown.

Hell, let me know when Dwyane Wade is doing anything in the playoffs besides riding through a sub-par Eastern Conference (and it was pitiful in 2006) and getting gift-wrapped a Finals victory by going to the line anytime he was sneezed at.

And the Olympics? This guy wants to talks about the Olympics and when it counts?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised a Miami Heat fan doesn’t know about the “history” of basketball. We are talking about a franchise that retired Michael Jordan’s 23 and Dan Marino’s 13.

He wants to talk about WHEN IT COUNTS? With Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade?

August 24, 2008. Spain vs. United States, Gold Medal game. Up until now, the Americans have coasted. They’ve lived up to their name: The Redeem Team.

However, Spain wasn’t giving up their chain without a fight. Late in the fourth quarter, Spain cut the lead to four, as the Americans devolved into what had killed them in international play: isolations.

Enter the alpha dog of the team: Kobe Bryant. It was Bryant who rose when it counted, hitting two key three-pointers (including a four point play over Spain’s MVP of the Game: Rudy Fernandez) to give the United States a cushion they would eventually see them through to the end.

That’s how you figure out things like this in basketball, Charles. When the going got tough—the Redeem Team turned to Kobe Bryant, and he was there when it counted. (But yeah, stat-heads, KOBE ISN’T CLUTCH ‘CAUSE STATS SAY SO). Dwyane Wade deferred to Kobe Bryant because he knew this was his moment, his time.

While in Beijing, Chris Bosh, LeBron James, and Dwyane Wade were fantasizing about running roughshod over the NBA in three years (I’d pay millions for those tapes), Kobe Bryant had just lost in the Finals in six games to the Boston Celtics.

He could have taken the summer off, and honestly, who’d have blamed him? But he wanted to play for his country, because it meant something to him. He knew he was the alpha dog, but Sensei Kobe let the young dogs get theirs—he resigned himself to locking down the other team’s best player every night (which might explain the stat discretion between Wade and Bryant, perhaps)?

And when the team needed him the most? There he was, just like everybody (including Wade) hoped he’d be.

Let the young bucks have stats—Kobe Bryant is chasing things that are far beyond stats.

Next: Dwyane Wade is no Kobe Bryant
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And there, Charles, is where you find the difference between Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade. Kobe isn’t better because he has rings—it’s because he understands what it takes to be a champion. Remember when the Heat had their little tear where they beat up on the Lakers and some sub-500 teams? Dwyane Wade said (and I’m paraphrasing here) the “Heat were where they needed to be to win a championship, it’s just about staying there.” Just two months later, how preposterous does that sound?

Kobe Bryant isn’t better because he wants it more than Dwyane Wade. Kobe Bryant is better than Dwyane Wade because Kobe simply refuses to accept anything less than what he can be on the basketball court. It’s what Kobe’s drive has brought him that makes truly great. It’s why he took a broke jump shot (which was worse than Wade’s) and turned it into a reliable stroke, while Wade just keeps jacking dumb, contested threes. It’s why he’s wrung every last ounce of potential out of his wiry frame.

Watch Dwyane Wade when LeBron is working without the ball. He’s just standing there in the corner, like a wrestler on a tag-team waiting to be tagged into the game. Then go watch Kobe Bryant—he’s a coach on the floor—yelling out commands, positioning his troops, and making hand gestures. His hours of film training and studying the game have led Tex Winter (you’ll probably need to Google him, Charles) saying he’d never met any player with such a deep understanding of the game.

This isn’t even touching the defensive end, where Dwyane Wade isn’t even allowed to stand in Kobe’s shadow.

Wade can run, jump, and shoot much like Kobe can. If you think the game of basketball and a player’s contributions can all be boiled down into simple statistics and those statistics give you the entire picture, then yes, you might believe Dwyane Wade out-performed Kobe Bryant in the playoffs. You might also think he’s had a better career.

Those of us who watch basketball and appreciate it for the art it is truly know: Kobe Bryant is superior to Dwyane Wade.

(Except PER. Dwyane Wade will always have the PER chart over Kobe’s head and I’m sure it will be the biggest regret of Kobe’s Hall of Fame career).

– Follow me on Twitter: @djbrnz

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