The Case For Shaquille O’Neal Never Having His Number Retired

DJ Byrnes
11 Min Read


For example, I don’t believe in hatred. I work every day in my life to remove hatred in any form from my psyche and day-to-day mental process. When it comes to sports though? I simply can’t let it go—and worse? I refuse to. I carry too many grudges. And, since I don’t consider sports to be real life, I let the hate flow freely from me without any cognitive dissonance coming to fruition.

I hate Boston, Massachusetts and their Celtics. Nay—strike that. I DETEST the Boston Celtics. Actually, I’m not sure there is a word in the English language that could accurately describe just how much I loathe the Celtics. You know those people that are like, “Well, I hate so&so but, I respect them and the rivalry.” Screw that. I don’t have respect for the Celtics in the same way I don’t have respect for the 4 inch spider I find in my shower. It’s a pest, it’s in the way of my goal, and it must be exterminated. Same with the Celtics.

Take Red Auerbach–quite possibly the most overrated coach in the history of coaching. BUT HE WON LIKE 35 RINGS. Well guess what? He had an athlete that was about 20 years ahead of his time (during a time when “athletes” smoked cigarettes at half-time) and won a bunch of titles when places like Fort Wayne were fielding NBA teams. Red Auerbach worked his entire life building up the Celtics and trying to destroy the Lakers. And you know how I take that? Like he had worked his entire life to rob me and my mom of some of our greatest sports (and family) memories ever.

Another example? Apparently, after yesterday’s loss to the Celtics, one of the Lakers’ ball-boys asked KG for an autograph. He apparently replied, “You have a better chance of catching Osama bin Laden.” And that’s KG, a trash-talking, cheap-shot artist that truly wants no part of any big moment, so his words don’t rile me up. What riles me up? The fact that a Lakers’ ball-boy was asking somebody like Garnett for an autograph. Had he done that after Game 7 of the 2010 NBA Finals? Then I’d applaud the young man. But after yesterday? That kid better be on the government dole by Friday!

And before I digress further and burst a blood vessel in my brain, this brings me to Mr. Shaquille O’Neal.

Next: The Case Against the Diesel

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