Jay-Z: I Have A Message For The Lakers

Andrew Bynum

Song: Hollywood

Lyrical Message:

“When your fame starts it’s a chain reaction/Locomotion like when the train departs/Stranger things have happened/Rappin, stackin, platinum plaquin”


I’ve had this whole section planned out for weeks. Come to think of it, I was listening to this track when it dawned on me how apropos many of Jay-Z’s songs were to the Lakers. Of course I’m a complete freak and relate seemingly everything in my life back to the Lakers, but this time I really felt like I was onto something. It hit me when Beyonce sings the chorus, “It’s the lights, the action, Hollywood”. This was a perfect message for young Andrew Bynum, who will finally get his first REAL taste of playoff basketball.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Then he got hurt. Again.

So when I heard he injured his Achilles tendon, was I instantly worried about the Lakers chances in the postseason? Of course not, I was livid that an entire section of my column was dead in the water!  I wondered if I would be better served switching his song to 99 Problems or Hard Knock Life? Needless to say, I’m just going to roll with it. The song is too perfect. Andrew has made a name for himself by dominating in December and January before going down like clockwork with some sort of leg injury. It has become so predictable I am starting to think this script was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.

I told myself this year would be different. This was the year he would bring his game to the playoffs and etch his name into Lakers lore. Of course that was too much to ask. I swear this dude is stuck in a horrible episode of the Twilight Zone, he must have done something awful in a past life because God seems to take particular pleasure in ending his season early every year. Of course, he is a multi-millionaire, so whatever he did it couldn’t have been that bad.

If by some slim chance that Andrew can stay healthy for an extended run through the playoffs, he will see that the postseason is a whole different animal. Bynum came to the NBA straight from high school, so he never experienced March Madness. Since he’s been a pro, the limited playing time he had in the playoffs hasn’t allowed him to show off what he can do. This year is his time to earn his fame. It’s his time to see what the real Hollywood is all about.

Next Page: Derek Fisher

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