Jay-Z: I Have A Message For The Lakers

Ron Artest

Song: Takeover

Lyrical Message:

“Hey lil’ soldier you ain’t ready for war/R.O.C. too strong for ya’ll/It’s like bringing a knife to a gunfight, a pen to a test/Your chest in the line of fire with ya thin ass vest”


When the Lakers were presented their 2009 Championship rings back in October, Magic Johnson, Jerry West and 7 other former Lakers joined in on the celebration. Derek Fisher led the crowd in a 3-2-1 countdown to unveil the team’s 15th championship banner. Commissioner David Stern and Team Mascot Jeannie Buss were there to personally pass the rings out to each player. Kobe Bryant flashed his 4th ring to the camera sporting the biggest smile west of the Mississippi. It was a grand culmination to what certainly was a summer long festival of love. While seemingly every Laker in team history was drunk with Laker-love, newest Laker Ron Artest made a point not to be involved.

This wasn’t his party, and no one knew that better than Ron Ron.

With the playoffs starting this weekend, it’s safe to assume that no one in purple and gold is more pumped up than Ron Artest. This is why he took less money to come to LA. This is why he left a good thing in Houston. This is what we’ve all been waiting for, and we can’t deny that the mindset and focus of Ron Artest will have a direct effect on how far this Lakers team goes.

The way the brackets are set up right now, it’s possible that Ron Ron will go face-to-face with Kevin Durant, Carmelo Anthony, Dirk Nowitzki and LeBron James. That’s a foursome with 3 MVPs, 2 scoring titles and 17 All-NBA appearances and counting. Before Ron Ron arrived, the Lakers had 9-time All Defensive team member Kobe Bryant to handle most of the heavy lifting on defense. With Kobe creeping into his thirties, he needs to save his energy for the offensive end if the Lakers hope to repeat.

Enter Ron Artest, the fiercest defender of the last decade. Ron is quick, physical, and 100% certifiably insane. Young Kevin Durant is about to get a close up view of what playoff basketball is all about, and don’t think Ron Ron isn’t happy to introduce himself. If Artest was loony enough to do this to Kobe (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFy1V44x6is), just think what he has in store for Durant. I can’t wait.

What makes Artest so entertaining is that you have absolutely no idea what he might do. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he takes his jersey off and attempts to strangle Durant with it. The one game suspension would be worth it, because Durant would have nightmares of an enraged Artest for months. He’d never be the same.  Instead of the traditional chest bumps during pregame introductions, I say they just cart Artest out like he was Steve Buscemi in Con Air. Oh wait, you mean you didn’t see Con Air? Let me set the scene. Buscemi played Garland ‘The Marietta Mangler’ Greene, an imprisoned homicidal maniac who was forced to wear a creepy black face mask and had to be escorted onto The Jail Bird (a plane full of convicts) by a full police battalion. You’re telling me that wouldn’t terrify everyone in the building not named Nic Cage? But I digress.

When Jay-Z released Takeover, it was a direct shot at fellow rappers Nas and Mob Deep. The track had teeth, and Jay-Z came right out and verbally assaulted both rappers then stood there waiting for a reaction. This is what we need from Ron Artest. It’s time for him to takeover.

Next Page: Pau Gasol

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