Recently I came up with this brilliant idea that I should probably actually write something every once in awhile. So in an effort to irritate as many people as possible I decided to start contributing with a weekly column that will give everybody a chance to disagree with me vehemently and tell me how big of an idiot I am.
Great. Let’s get started.
After all the moves the Lakers made this summer, including the numerous ‘lesser’ moves that didn’t involve guys who will be waltzing into the Hall of Fame at the end of the their careers, there isn’t much to complain about in Lakerland. The team is beyond stacked, and while it’s far too soon to say they’re favorites to win that shiny trophy at the end of the season, there isn’t too much to worry about at the beginning of October.
So, naturally, it’s time to manufacture some drama!
No other market, save maybe New York, is able to put together fake drama better than Los Angeles. Maybe it’s the Hollywood aspect that the Lakers have always dealt with, or the need to fill 24 hours of talk radio and television, but the fact that the baseball regular season isn’t even over yet means it’s far too soon to be worried about implosions amongst a team that has more sets of skills than Liam Neeson.
But that won’t stop the L.A. media from coming up with something to talk about. The latest example? Whose team is this?
Oh, no! Stop the bus right here. Clearly it’s time to douse ourselves in kerosene, play with fire and run around in circles declaring the end is near. (This is a popular activity in Orlando, I’ve been told.)
In case you missed it, here’s what happened. Kobe said the Lakers were his team. Dwight Howard said the Lakers were the Lakers.
That means they hate each other, right? This is the Shaq and Kobe feud reignited, right?
No, you morons. No, it is not. It simply means they didn’t give the same answer to a question. Which, if you have paid any attention to every interview ever, tends to happen. So now that Howard and Kobe didn’t both give the same answer to a question, a question that really doesn’t matter by the way, impending doom is upon us. The Lakers will proceed to collapse on themselves like a dying star, leaving a trail of blood, sweat and Mike Brown in their wake.
It’s only October. Better yet, it’s only the third day of October. So all this talk that the media is trying to feed you about Kobe and Howard not being on the same page is two things: accurate and unimportant.
Do you really expect them to be on the same page after one day of practice? Sure this particular issue is an off-court one, but it all ends up going back to how the two perform together between the lines. So instead of creating drama that has no substance in the first place, let’s at least give these two guys enough time to hate each other before we’re claiming that they already do.
After all, if there’s one thing we’ve learned about the Lakers over the years, it’s that they will provide us with enough drama on their own, saving us the trouble of creating it ourselves.