So I’m supposed to focus on the Lakers, right? What about when the Lakers lose by 50 points. Do I still have to focus on them? Can I find something else to focus on, such as the fork I want to gouge my eyes out with?
Boy that was ugly. I feel like I’ve exhausted all possible metaphors already to describe just how painful it was to sit through that. I honestly think waterboarding would be less upsetting than having to watch that again. It’s moments like this where I’m thankful I can sit and focus on the internet rather than watch the Miami Heat turn the Lakers into domestic abuse victims.
So instead of sitting here and exhausting 500 words on why the Lakers’ Summer League team is entirely amnesty-worthy, I’ll talk a little more about the other things going on around here.
First of all we had a Blogger’s Throwdown this morning. For those of you that don’t know what the hell that is, let me explain.
Think of a normal basketball game that you might see on television. Well, one where a team doesn’t lose by 50. Got it? Okay now picture that same basketball game but with a bunch of short, white guys who can’t shoot, pass or dribble. Now imagine said white guys attempting to run around the court and pretend they know what they’re doing and jawing at the refs.
Pretty much it’s 10 guys doing full-body heaves with a basketball. Thrilling, right?
In case that mental image didn’t quite do it for you, I should also inform you that I wore a hairband to keep my rather feminine locks out of my face.
I am fury.
Anyways, back to things you actually care about. Our quote of the day actually comes from a Laker. Well, an aspiring Laker. Rookie Robert Sacre has been one of our favorite interviews over the past four days. He hasn’t turned us down yet. This is most likely because he hasn’t seen me wearing my hairband. So we asked him if he had found himself distracted by all the glitz and glamor in Las Vegas, and how he avoids the distractions.
“It’s easy,” Sacre said with a scoff. “You just stay in your room.”
Perfect. That’s the excuse I’ve been using my entire life to completely destroy any possibility at a social life. Now I can say that some NBA players adopt the same lifestyle!
So I totally talked way too much about myself in this article. Pretty much you’ve learned that I sometimes wear a hairband, I’m a shut-in and that the Lakers stink. Reporting at its finest!
Alright, that’s all from me. I’ll be back to irritate you more tomorrow.