Onion Article Blasts Dwight Howard, Who Wants to “Ruin Rockets”

NBA: Los Angeles Lakers at Indiana PacersAlright. Before everybody picks up their pitchforks and torches and marches on (undisclosed location) to tear me apart, I must stress that this is an article from The Onion. This is not a real story. It is satire. Please don’t make the same mistake Stephen A. Smith did.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, a story on The Onion surfaced last week on their sports page that was just too good not to share.

The title of the article is Dwight Howard Interested in Ruining Rockets, and here’s a brief excerpt from the story;

“They have a great young core of players with James Harden and Jeremy Lin, so I’d obviously love the chance to go shatter their chemistry and tear the entire locker room apart,” said Howard, adding that he would “relish the opportunity” to totally undermine Rockets head coach Kevin McHale.

Obviously with all the ‘Dwightmare’ drama that the league has seen over the past two seasons, people are getting a little sick and tired of the “where will Dwight go” stories. This brief piece from The Onion is just another example of that.

—- Check out Lakers big man Dwight Howard’s player bio here! —-

While in reality Dwight hasn’t hinted at where he’ll sign next season, there is reportedly a small list of teams he would play for. That list does include the Lakers.

Which, just for good measure, the satirical article also addresses at the very end.

Howard did stress to reporters, however, that he has not yet ruled out remaining in Los Angeles to continue destroying the Lakers for the foreseeable future.

Perfect.

To read the full article (it’s not that long and will provide a laugh), head over to The Onion.

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