And my response:
.
From: Me [mailto:me@xxx.com]
Sent: Friday, May 07, 2010 9:47 AM
To: Him
Subject: RE: How…
That was fantastic. Great analogy and a fantastic read.
You know what the sad thing is?
The poor people on Planet Cavaliers have no idea that in outer space, not yet visible to the naked eye, is a meteor unlike anything they have ever encountered. Only a month ago this barely visible spec in the sky was once seen as an afterthought, something thought of as incapable of reaching their planet. Something they quickly dismissed.
What they have yet to realize is this meteor controls the fate of their entire existence.
What they can’t yet see is with each passing day this meteor rapidly gains speed and grows infinitely stronger.
As it pushes closer and closer to their once prosperous planet, it starts to come into view. At first only those with a trained eye will realize it’s there, but as it picks up steam it will be impossible to ignore.
While the people on Planet Cavaliers try to recover from a volcanic eruption (Boston) and prepare for a potential hurricane (Orlando), they have no idea that none of it matters. If they manage to get through those disasters alive, all of the work put into picking up the pieces will seem trivial.
At the end of the day, their planet is already doomed. It’s too late. Armageddon is close.
The meteor is now on a collision course with their planet and Bruce Willis or Ben Affleck are not there to save the day. This ain’t the movies, dogg.
Nothing can stop the meteor now. It’s been traveling for too long. It has too much momentum. It’s simply too strong now.
That meteor is the Los Angeles Lakers.
And Planet Cavaliers can’t imagine the devastation it’s capable of.
Me
Was my response a bit much? A little over the top? Way more dramatic than it needed to be?
Yes, yes and yes. But this is the playoffs, you should expect nothing less.
Looking back on our email chain, I don’t think we could epitomize the two fan bases any more succinctly if we tried. Their unbridled fear of extinction. Our blatant conceit and overconfidence.
Maybe they are a worthy foil after all.
Which brings us back to the question at hand: Who should we root for?
The Cleveland fan-base is on the verge of extinction, which makes them dangerous. The crowd will cheer louder than they ever have to let LeBron know he belongs in Cleveland. If things look grim, they could potentially lift him and his (seemingly) mangled elbow up off the mat like a boxer as the count reaches 8. They have the team with the best record in the league. They have the player with the MVP trophy. They will undoubtedly be the more difficult foe.
They have the team I want to face in the NBA Finals.
Bring it on, Cleveland.
Bring it on.
